Tuesday, 18 February 2014
Theres a feeling so lovely about finally just feeling content with every aspect of your being. I currently am experiencing this and I'm not too sure why it has come about but I am embracing it with open arms. I had spent so long looking for a peace of mind that I never got. I read books to hopefully open my mind up to new worlds and escape my own. I watched films and television series to immerse myself into characters lives instead of living my own to it's potential. None of this bought me the complete peace of mind I was looking for. It did give me some temporary relief, but of course once the book finished, or I turned off the television I was back to my own reality, which is something that bored me. I feel as if I constantly must keep moving, which is apparent to most people with one glance at my constantly moving legs and fidgeting fingers. Most people would put that down to habit, but I put it down to a deeper meaning. I put it down to a caged, or even trapped feeling. I feel trapped, I want to experience things but my own mind holds me back. The mind is a powerful thing really, it can be your greatest saviour or your biggest detriment. I have been in this funk for months now, and it has been playing on my mind like a broken record. But all of a sudden this morning I woke up with this overwhelming feeling of contentment. I feel as if the gate have broken open and my mind and self are trapped no longer. I feel free to do the things that I felt restricted to do before, which really is a beautiful feeling.